2022, 100 followers and… STIR FRY

This is quite possibly the most important post yet on this blog. I shall explain why soon enough inshaAllah.

I am so excited, so so excited. Let’s get into this:

*deep breath*

I’VE FINALLY DONE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

After an entire year and a quarter! Fifteen months!

I HAVE REACHED AN INCREDIBLY SIGNIFICANT LANDMARK IN THE HISTORY OF THIS BLOG!!! I… HAVE… MADE… THE LEGENDARY… THE LONG-EXPECTED… THE LONG-ANTICIPATED… THE PROMISED… THE FORGOTTEN… stir fry post!

(as well as 100 followers on the last day before 2022)

This seriously deserves a standing ovation.

15-year-old me would be very pleased.

Firstly, you must know I am not one to scream. Or type an entire paragraph save three words in capitals. But this post is different. It’s the last post of 2021. The first with a 100 followers. And the only that is set to bring closure to the long-awaited stir fry recipe post debacle.

Before we get into the, hmm, meaty bit, let’s get over and done with the two other important topics at hand, shall we?

In the same order as the title, starting from involving the most people on Planet Earth but of least importance to this blog: the new year. How quickly have we gone through 2021?! It’s just unbelievable – it seems like we were just about able to get through the realities of 2020 as we’re ending 2021. Whoa, just whoa. Doesn’t seem like too long ago that I published the 2020 wrap-up post. And that brings me onto this: do you guys want a wrap-up, with stats and that, for this year as well? I did a similar sort of thing in my Anniversary Post a few months back, but if you want it, I’ll do it inshaAllah, and if not I can focus on other projects. Let me know below.

And the second thing: this involves approximately 100 people on this planet and is of utmost significance to this blog. In other words, thehzablog now has… a hundred followers! Thank you, Jazakallah, to every single follower who managed to bring it to this number!

I hope and do dua 2022 goes amazingly well for us all inshaAllah, and that it brings another successful year of posts, readers, comments and followers!

Let’s now talk stir-fry – the most important topic conceivable, is it not?

| Le Backstory

I know, I know, this was the part of the post that explains why this is even remotely important, but after all, you’ve waited a year and a quarter for this post, so could I request you to be patient and wait for upto a day and a quarter? Pwease?? I’m so sleepy.

Moi

23 hours later

It’s been 23 hours now. I’ll tell you the story. Not that I’m not sleepy XD – it’s nearly the same time as yesterday. Anyway–

The story. It all began one day a few decades ago, when my dad was born. Oh fine, you’re in a rush, let’s fast forward to when I was born. Well, here’s the thing, when I was born, believe it or not, I was 0 years old. And- FINE, you want me to skip that too then, I suppose. It all started with my very first post on this blog back in September ’20 in which I’d said that I would post a recipe the next week. I didn’t. Nor the week after that. And not even in any of the 65 or so weeks since. This is my first ‘own’ recipe I’m posting here. The only other recipe I’ve ever posted on this blog was for a tiramisu, and that was a reblog from Abdussalam’s Blog (make sure you check his blog out!).

Anyway, so what happened is that after practically every post I was sure my next post would be the recipe. I myself was convinced I was gonna do it soon .And thus I kept hinting at it often. But it never materialised.

Like that passed the New Year of 2020 and came the start of the new term. Here’s where the story gets more interesting.

More to be told later…

| Le Recipe

This is the bit. What you’ve read so far was the mere setting for this piece-de-resistance.

Mind you, the first part of this recipe, from the overconfident but classy and clear title to the end of the ingredients, has been untouched – and practically unused – for a year. Thus you will find that below are some specimens of a year-ago-me humour. I’ve left them nearly completely untouched for you to enjoy and cringe at. OK, OK, I did add a few bits here and there today, but only to help you out. Like the salt and oil, I’d forgotten them a year ago. And, uh, all the quantities for the sauce. See?

Sooo… what are we waiting for? Let us begin:

— CHef Z.A.’s STIR FRY.—

INGREDIENTS:

• Noodles (obviously) <– not instant noodles, use proper noodles – even better if they’re wholemeal
• Noodl-no, sorry, vegetables – whichever you like. I hope you like some vegetable. For me, I often put in broccoli, sweetcorn, peppers or mushrooms. If you happen to have mange tout or sugar snap peas, they’d be really nice too. To make it more authentic, use babycorn instead of sweetcorn. Or even put both in together.
• Fish, chicken, meat, last night’s leftover curry (optional) <– if the chicken is uncooked, cook in the sauce
• Herbs (optional). I tend to use chives, but coriander (dhanya) and mint (pudina) might be nice too.
• A sprinkle and splash of salt n oil

For the CHef Z.A. stir-fry sauce:

• BBQ sauce – 1 tbsp
• Balsamic vinegar – 1 tbsp
• Worcestershire sauce (if you’ve got soy sauce and you’re not allergic to it, you could use that instead. We don’t usually have it since the natural ones (e.g. Kikkoman) have alcohol in them (it’s not specified on the label, but they’re brewed) while others are typically not very good with a variety of artificial, unhealthy ingredients) – 1 tbsp
• Chilli sauce or chilli powder – 1/4 tsp
• Oil. Loads of oil. – 2 tbsp
• Cornflour (optional) – 1 tsp
• Stock or some sort of masala (preferable) – a suitable quantity, I was using something called Bouillon, of which 3 pinches was an appropriate amount

(from here onwards everything was written today – 31-12-21)

Pre-recipe brief:

Before we start cooking, bear a few of these things in mind. Yes, I know what you’re thinking, kya yai ulloo ka pattha kabhi dayga bhi apni recipe ya nahi? Rest assured, you will have my recipe very soon inshaAllah, but first listen to what I have to say. The first thing is, this is my own recipe and is not a completely authentic one at that, but it works and had been the highlight of my culinary endeavours. The second bit is, if you aren’t a vegetarian and actually want something to give it a… munch factor, let’s call it, then you can add some of last night’s chicken curry – after shredding it – or else fry your own in more of the stir-fry sauce. I personally opted for the former since a) I’d either be in a rush or b) any chicken we’d have would be frozen and anyway, that adds a very nice South Asian touch to the dish. And if you don’t want or have chicken, you can always add some fish (even tinned tuna) or else some meat.

Any quantities specified are for approximately 2 people or servings, so if you want to make more (or, if you’re being selfish or economical, less), you can adjust it.

Now then, Bismillah, time for the recipe. The moment you’ve been waiting for since September ’20.

R E C I P E :

Step 1:

First, we have to boil some noodles. I’d say four nests should be OK for two people, but see for yourself. Follow the instructions on the packet to do so, but before you go ahead, add the vegetables. I can’t really specify any set quantity; just see that the veg is as much as you’d enjoy and not overdone. Especially mushrooms, if you go overboard with those, the whole thing goes brownish. So beware of that.

So immerse both the noodles and the veg for the amount of time on the noodle packet (usually about 5 mins), add a little bit of oil (say a tablespoon) and some salt (a teaspoon or so). Once the time has passed, drain.

Step 2:

In the couple of minutes’ free time you might have while boiling the noodles, or straight after doing that, prepare your stir-fry sauce. I tend to mix the ingredients up in a measuring cylinder but you might choose to do it in something else. It doesn’t matter.

Start with the oil, then mix everything into it.

Step 3:

Put the noodles on high heat and pour in half of the stir-fry sauce. I’d normally do this in the saucepan I cooked my noodles in, but to be more traditional, use a wok (or a big frying pan). Stir. And fry. It shall sizzle.

You’ll notice that it will start to dry out a little after a minute or two of constant stirring on a high heat, so add the other half of the sauce as well. Keep stirring and frying for a short while longer, and once everything begins to look golden and well-mixed, take it off the heat. Add your chicken, be it pre-stir-fried or from a leftover curry, and mix. Ideally use two things, probably a fork and a spoon, to mix it well.

Step 4:

Enjoy!

Step 5:

Lemme know how it was in the comments! Was it nice at all? Do you have any tips on how it can be improved? Let me know!

And don’t forget to follow this blog, of course!

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Rating: 5 out of 5.

I hereby publish it one minute before it would count as breaking my word. The fireworks have already begun – in fact they began as I started to write Step 5 of the recipe, 9 minutes ago.

Oh my God! I can’t believe it! We are FINALLY done with this post, after it being 15 whole months in the waiting – a SINGLE MINUTE before the new year!!! Well, you know what they say: The HZA Blog – bringing you content (just) before time runs out, since September 2020.

INTO 2022!!!

P.S. Let’s have every single reader reply with at least one comment and make this post have more comments than any other! How many comments do you think this will get? 1? 5? 10? 20? I’m curious myself…